It seems like everything’s been invented these days and that we’ve hit a creative wall. Wannabe innovators have no idea where to go as a simple Google search can tell them that their ideas are not new. As such, there are thousands of hilariously silly products out there that could have come from an Onion article. Here are 10 of my favorites.
Mildly useful, the Slobstopper is supposed to be an adult bib so you can drink things from a cup or bowl at a car without spilling. As much as this used to be a problem, it’s convention now for everyone to bring a sports bottle, and to not bring a bowl of soup to work. Their site seems down however, so their product is probably discontinued.
Trongs are like claws you wear on your fingers to pick up food without dirtying yourself. It’s for people that haven’t yet realized that finger food is, well… made to be held with your fingers. But who wouldn’t want utensils that stand up like tripods? They might even make you look like “good-looking, intelligent people who have friends.”
8. Under Desk Dancercise
Moving your feet during long hours of work can provide great exercise as well as increase bloodflow to prevent some painful situations. That’s where the 2-Step comes in. It’s a dancercise board for under the table so you can move your feet during work, while eating, or watching TV. This is definitely a needed product… unless you could possibly do all these things without it.
7. Adolf Hitler Wine
Useless? No. Offensive? Absolutely! Lunardelli is a wine company from Italy that gets a kick out of labeling bottles with fascist and communist figures. Would you like a Mussolini wine, or a Marx wine? However the product that takes the cake is Hitler wine. Available in many types such as cabernet sauvignon, merlot, and pinot and 34 different labels, Lunardelli’s Der Fuhrer line is one of their biggest.
6. Watermelon Stroller
This wouldn’t be a silly products list without a feature from Japan. From commercials to prime-time comedies, those guys definitely have taken “thinking out of the box” to an art form. Introducing the Marugoto Tamachan, a stroller with a cooling chamber made especially for watermelons. Not only that, but it comes with a built in heater for those times in winter when you’re faced with the opposite problem.
5. Shaving Helmet
Not yet in the market, this bike helmet is outfitted with four razors and a shaving cream irrigation system to perfectly shave your head without looking like a bloody nightmare. As a guy who once shaved his hair off, I can tell you that this 20-minute shaving miracle is quite useful. It just looks extremely silly and extremely dangerous.
4. Egg Cuber
Did you ever want to stack eggs on each other, but never found out how? Do you just have an itching hatred towards egg shapes? Well fret no more. Now you can have your eggs in the shape of cubes! Other than giving your kids edible building blocks or having a healthy round of breakfast monopoly, I can’t really think of better uses for this product.
3. NFL Forest Face
American Football is a pastime enjoyed by many. However, there are times that you can’t just enjoy this great sport, such as when you’re stuck in a dense forest. So what do you do? Nail a face into a tree! Now you get to support your team while going on that fulfilling hike through wild terrain and possibly scare the hell out of your camping buddies.
2. Smokeless Cigarette
Created in 1994, this R.J. Reynolds product was supposed to give smokers the flavor of tobacco without having the harmful effects of a real cigarette. However, they had to be pulled down almost immediately due to a number of problems. Other than its complicated lighting process and the charcoal aftertaste, drug dealers found these hollow filters a cheap way to transport drugs.
1. Porch Potty
One of the many hassles of owning a dog and not having a dog door for safety purposes is waking up at night to let your pet out to take a pee. The Porch Potty is basically a patch of grass in a huge basket that your dog can pee on. Before you complain about the smell and bacteria that this product might seem to collect, it does have a built-in automatic rinse and dry system.
Saw a silly product you want to share? Maybe you’re coming up with one? Comment below!